Hi, Lovely Souls. So, this post isn’t going to be one of good news, but one of self-reflection. Siting down? Good. This might be a long one.
As you all know, or may not know for my new subscribers, I have been struggling this year as a writer. Badly. So badly to the point where both my soul and my body are just tired. Drained. Spent. Done. I was hopeful that I would have another crazy, writing and publishing year, but that has not been the case.
When I published LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL, I was proud of myself. The work I had invested in myself and that story… was my highest. When I wrote that short for Shay Spivey’s Shades of BWWM Collection, I felt a little bit of myself coming back.
But as I sit here typing this for you, and for myself, I am ashamed. I am embarrassed. I feel like a failure. This is me being honest- as honest as I possibly can.
There is a good fragment in all of this. I had been doing tons of reading. From Rachel Jonas, to KC Connor, to Siera London, Danielle James (the erotica, taboo queen), and Carmel Rhodes…. all of this beautiful, talented souls have taught me something about writing and falling in love with reading again. That’s what I have missed and needed this year, and every time I sat down to write, nothing would work. Now, I see why.
Reading and seeing how other craft stories was my key to unlock myself. I was so focused on writing that I neglected the main side of myself that needed to be restored.
So, looking forward, I am no longer a failure or guilt-tripping myself because I needed this year to myself, to restore myself, and to fall in love with reading again. Another thing I realize is that maybe romance isn’t what I need to be writing right now. Yes, my brand is a Romantic Realism Author, and that will not change. But right now, I need to change genres. I need to shift my focus, so I can fall back in love with writing romance again. When the time is right for romance and I to connect, we shall.
I’ll continue to read more. I shall. I have missed it. Lending a hand where I can to those authors who I share a friendship and a sistership with… is very important to me. It’s what my goal is for the rest of 2018, while I continue to find me again. Something that I had a breakthrough about last night while on the phone with my SO is this: I’ve been attempting to write in the wrong genre. Romance isn’t home right now, at least not for writing. So, I’ll try something different in 2019.
Stranger Things has been teaching me a lot, too. (I adore that show!)
So, there it is, lovely souls. Here’s to slowly finding me again.
Keep flying high,
Angel Mystique x